My cell phone has been crapping out on me & I've needed to replace it for awhile now. But I was afraid to because I didn't want to risk losing the precious voicemails I had on my phone from my father. I went into the AT&T store last week and expressed this concern. An old acquaintance who works there removed my SIM card and showed me they would still be on there...no problem! Great! So I ordered my new phone which arrived yesterday.
I took it into the store to activate it but the person who had helped me last week wasn't there. So someone else helped me. I didn't think of bringing up the voicemails to them because I'd seen for myself just last week that it'd be ok. Unfortunately, something went wrong and the voicemails ended up being deleted.
I feel like I lost him again. Today I've been consumed with depression and grief. My heart is broken. The voicemails are gone. I have an old voicemail on my other phone where he wished me happy birthday. I should be grateful I have that one. But I'm still deeply saddened that I don't have all of them anymore.
I'm ready for this all to be over and for us to be reunited once again. I wish I could fast forward life and just get to the end...the celebration. The homecoming. I don't know if someone who hasn't lost deeply can ever truly understand feeling pulled in both directions; wanting to be with the ones we love here and now all while longing to finally be home and be complete.
I really need to find a way to pull myself together and make this Christmas a happy one for my kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment