Today is Father's Day. If I had not known on my own, I would've known by the several people who kept pointing that fact out to me as the day drew near. With compassionate hearts and good intentions, I heard quite a few, "This Father's Day will be hard for you I'm sure" or things similar in tone.
Maybe I'm a bad person for thinking of it this way or maybe I haven't figured out the correct way people should grieve, but for me Father's Day is no different than any other day. I miss my dad just as much today as I did yesterday or the day before. I don't view Father's Day or Mother's Day like many people. I think of them as silly, commercialized holidays courtesy of Hallmark and all those department stores. In fact, after learning this was my viewpoint a friend forwarded me an article last month that said the creator of Mother's Day would probably be very upset to see what it has become. I totally agree. And if you ask Levi, over half of my Mother's Day this year was spent being irritated that we even have such a stupid holiday. I simply can't stand either day and this is not a new development for me. It's a view I've quietly held for a very long time.
Maybe I should feel guilty, but with this as my perspective, I never made much of Father's Day even when my dad was alive. I'd call him, but I never made a big deal out of it. Maybe I'm a bad daughter. Too late to change that now.
So if anyone is concerned about me today, please know Father's Day is not one of my trigger days. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday are...but not Father's Day. Bringing up the fact that he is gone and telling me how hard today must be for me does not offer me any comfort. It simply points out a truth I already am aware of; that he's not here. Thank you for the concerns, the prayers, and incredibly compassionate attempts to be supportive. I do appreciate it. But I really am okay today.
